Trying something new...

• Changing Routine Problems
• Frustration
• Focus
• Token System

Changing Routine Problems
Like I had mentioned in my previous blog post.  I needed to change the way me and my son interact at home.  There would be daily fights just to get the usually tasks done (e.g. fighting to stop playing with his toys to go get ready for bed).  This has been a nightmare, the house is in chaos with daily screaming, foot stomping to straight out saying "NO!" and not budging.  So I decided that I needed to come up with a token system.  A way to reward him for good behavior.

Frustration
Before I move on, there is something that really...really crawls up my pants with annoyance in the social aspect when I mention what's going on with my son at home with my friends and family members.  Especially, those who are child-free and have no experience in being a caregiver to a child (a caregiver is anyone who is in charge of overseeing a child in the absence of the parent/or guardian, such as teachers, after-school care counselors, bus driver attendants, etc.).  I dislike comments such as "You spoil him, he just needs a good beaten." or "You are not to FIRM...you need to be FIRM!".  Look...sometimes no matter how "firm", how much beaten you give a child it doesn't work!!  I am not going to beat my son black and blue to release the so-called "devil" out of him!  All children are different...and guess what?! Mine is different!  Moving on...

Focus
One thing I have learned lately, is to look out for certain behaviors.  I need to take the time and look out for the undesired behaviors that I see that stands out and is seen as a problem.

• Yelling "NO!"
• Stepping on toys purposely
• Making loud repetitive grunts
• Running off (out the door, into the streets, across the room)
• Hitting/ Slapping
• Biting
• Crying
• Singing & Talking really loud
• Banging on the table

These are just a few.  But lets look at them.  As I look down the list...first I think about which is the most harmful? Of course it would be the biting, hitting and the occasional running into the streets.  My second question is now, which of these are just age appropriate? Meaning for the fact he is a kid, does a typical 7 year old conduct in these behaviors?  It's ok if it's not harmful and age appropriate.  Like the singing & talking really loud and maybe because of his disability the necessity to make loud grunting noises.  Well the whole point of looking at my son's behaviors and then evaluating the priority of each, will have me and creating a plan to help my son with his behaviors.  And to make sure what I am doing is actually healthy for him.  In other words, I am not trying to change him just because I don't like it.

Token System
So the token system is basically away to reinforce good behavior by acknowledging them and rewarding the person for that behavior.  I thought this would be a great way to start.  First, it's something very simple for him to understand and something I can implement right away, as I work out the details of the rest of the plan.  Basically, I make a list of all the desirable good behaviors that my son can get tokens for: Such as saying "thank you, please, your welcome, yes mommy, etc." to having him respond to me immediately after being called to completing daily task such as homework and brushing his teeth.  In my next post I will copy and paste the first actual token system I had created.