- Punishment = Last Choice
- What is DRO?
- Ok, So What Do I Do with the Inappropriate Behaviors Then?
- Patience
- Consistency & Immediacy
In my previous post, you noticed that I talked a lot about punishment, and how it's the least effective form of long term results. Meaning, no timeouts, spanking, yelling extremely loud, grounding your child for a month, etc. And with all the frustration that I had with this (because I used to do it), what other option do I have? The thing that frustrate some parents is that they were raised to use such teaching methods for their kids, and most of them are labeled under punishment. And if you can't use these "punishments", it might feel like you've been doing things all wrong and now you have to start all over. Change is hard, but of course if we look at the big picture we will learn it's for the better. So instead of punishment we use reinforcement. And a great way to do this is with DRO.
What is DRO?
DRO stands for Differential Reinforcement of Other Behaviors. Which basically means you will immediately pay more attention in a positive manner to appropriate behaviors that your child will present. For example: your child puts their shoes on, throws something in the garbage, says "pleases" and "thank you", you get visually excited about it. You are showing them which behavior are accepted and which ones that are not by showing obvious visual differences. You can have them keep track of these accepted behaviors through the use of charts and tangibles (items they can have physically).
Ok, So What Do I Do with the Inappropriate Behaviors Then?
A great way to handle these unacceptable behaviors is through a learning technique. Generally you would be blocking the behavior through interrupting it and redirecting the behavior to something more acceptable. For example, she/he has a tantrum. They begin to yell, cry and scream. Immediately show them the appropriate behavior during this inappropriate behavior (interrupting them) and say (redirecting) "If you feel mad...say you are mad. If you want something...say what you want" or if they are too young to understand that, say "Say 'I'm sad'" to try to have them repeat "I'm sad". Then have them say "I want my toy". The point of this is to have them replace that problem behavior with something that is socially more acceptable. So that when they are in school or playing with other children, their interaction with others will be in a more acceptable manner. At the end causing less chaos and less phone calls of your child hitting someone else, bitting, etc.
Patience
Just like in my previous post, remember the importance of patience. Some children learn fast, while for others it may take some time. Every child is different and that is ok. You know your child.
Consistency & Immediacy
And the most important thing with all this is: Consistency and immediacy. Always providing the same consequence after the behavior and right away.
