Becareful when you ignore...

• Emotions and Ignoring
• "Just Ignore."  They Say
• What's Extinction?  Plus a goofy example...
• The Extinction Burst
• Before You Do Extinction
• Replace, Not Reuse or Recycle
• Summary

Emotions and Ignoring
Remember when you were a kid, and your mom/dad tried to intentionally ignore you in hopes of you stopping what you were doing?  Well, maybe this just only happened to me.  But I remember how I felt: angry...confused...then angry again!  All I wanted to do was tore up the place!  I felt hurt and unworthy.

"Just Ignore."  They Say
You might have gotten the suggestion to intentionally ignore your child's tantrum.  "Don't even look his/her way.", "Act like you don't care."   While they are crying from the top of their lungs, kicking and screaming.  As much as this point in life really sucks, you might be on to something.  But there is a couple of pointers you need to know why? Why do I have to ignore?  What will it do?  What is it really doing?

What's Extinction?  Plus a goofy example...
Extinction is when you are blocking the consequence/reinforcer of the behavior.   Such as when a prisoner spits in your face thinking that in return you will fight them by clocking them in the face or be disgusted and cry in the corner, type of thing...but instead, you block the consequence/reinforcer by showing no emotional, physical or visual reaction.  Like standing there stone cold.  They will get puzzled and confused.  Like, wait, that wasn't supposed to happen!  Then they will get mad, and try hard to get a reaction out of you and beat you senseless.  Ok, you want a softer example?  Imagine your child having a tantrum, and you can be visual seen by them, but you just intentionally ignore them.  That's not what they wanted, they had the tantrum so that you can give them what they wanted.  So they then scream and cry louder...and louder ...and louder...


The Extinction Burst
The crazy reaction after the behavior's reinforcer is being blocked is called an extinction burst.  What is happening, is that because the reinforcer was blocked, naturally it's not understood why its not working, because in the past it worked well (you giving in, you fighting them back, you getting a soda).  Oh wait, I didn't tell you the soda example.  If you still don't understand the extinction thing.  Take the example of you being thirsty (stimulus), placing your money into the vending machine (behavior) and you receiving your soda (reinforcer).  It's a reinforcer because next time,when you thirsty(stimulus) and want a soda, you are more than likely to place money into the machine(behavior) to get a soda (reinforcer).  Now the extinction part: Imagine, one day you place your money and nothing happens.  No soda.  For someone that has encountered this for the first time: You will press the buttons again(part of the chain of behaviors )...ok..still soda (reinforcer being blocked).  Then you will press the change button (alternative/addition behavior)...nothing (again...reinforcer being blocked).  Ok...so you tap the soda machine on the glass.  (remember that this is a hot ass day (MO: Motivation Operation..will explain anther day) and  your are sooo thirsty and you just put your last dollar).  Now you are not tapping the machine, you are not pressing the buttons, you are literally shaking the damn machine to give you your soda or else! <<<< Extinction burst!  It's when the behavior that usually got the reinforcer that was block begins to increase in the same behavior and more in hopes of receiving the same reinforcer. 

Before You Do Extinction
Ok let me get back on route here!  If you plain to do extinction (blocking the consequence/reinforcer of a behavior), make sure you are ready to equip that person with a new set of skills to replace the inappropriate behavior.  Because, when that extinction burst comes, expect hell to break loose.  Meaning: hours of crying, kicking, screaming...total exorcist stuff!  The person is going through a "traumatic" time, what used to work for them,doesn't work anymore, which can cause some internal chaos and some emotional pain.  Even though, severity varies, this is something to keep in mind when dealing with another human being.  Keep ethics in mind!

Instead of telling them or forcing them to to stop the behavior alone.  You will have to set them up with some coping tools...a new behavior to replace the inappropriate one.

Replace, Not Reuse or Recycle
First I suggest you teach them the new skills they will need.  To be able to get the same reinforcer but when a more appropriate behavior.  Inappropriate Behavior: Hitting mommy in the back of the head to get juice.  Appropriate Behavior: Asking mom for juice verbally, visually with a PECS with a picture of juice on it, or with an appropriate hand gesture for "Juice".  And the biggest thing to remember, make sure your child is able to do that behavior.  You can accomplish this through practicing, step by step at the lowest level to complex.

Summary

1. Find the inappropriate behavior.  
2. Find out the reason for this behavior.  What do they want?  What is the consequence they are looking for (What is the reinforcer).
3. Find an appropriate behavior to replace the inappropriate beahvior.
4. Teach them the new behavior.
5. Then and only then! You can implement extinction! Extinction: Blocking the consequence/reinforcer of the inappropriate behavior (intentionally ignoring the tantrum, etc.)
6. Let them scream, kick, cry, everything.  Do not give in.
7. But only give them your full attention with excitement when they used the new behavior (ex. asking for juice using their words)
8. Keep rewarding the new behavior with the reinforcer immediately (giving them juice right away when the asked appropriately).
9. The inappropriate behavior will decrease (becasue it doesn't work for them anymore, they know that asking for juice is a better way to get juice!).